Preview of Why Should I Pray?
Copyright 2007. O. Maxwell. All rights reserved.

You see, to understand my lines and me--
You must glimpse at how I came to be.
Love was mixed with:
One part black man,
One part Asian--
These two parts making me whole.
But this happiness would be no more
When that happy bride entered foreign soil,
She faced a war greater than any soul.
There was no love when an only son
Returned with precious gifts of a girl and boy
Whom he blessed with family namesakes,
Which to me was the greatest mistake!
They assumed that little Asian lady
Knew nothing, was nothing.
But she heard all the whispers,
All the taunts,
All the ugliness.
She heard them all say that her children
Would be nothing, would have nothing.
What I couldn't understand
Was how the oppressed could oppress,
How the hated could hate,
How a minority could present the same
That generations fought so hard to rise above?
But beyond that, how grandparents could forsake
What was their own to love not break?
I had to prove what was rightfully mine
So I strived to prove them wrong
But what I didn't know was that--
No varsity letters in the world,
No academic achievements,
No titles of President
Would open the door of their steeled hearts.
This period of my life was dark
Leaving an indelible mark
Because my true grandmother
My mother's mother
Who never laid eyes on me
Went to God you see.
Now, the honor of my selection
Was cheapened by a cousin's remark
That I would have to give some in order to get some
That I didn't have what it takes to be a proud US officer.
To add more hurt to injury
To my grandparents I gave
An invitation to my graduation
For them to witness how well
Their little girl excelled
Hoping to lay aside
All the pain inside
But they ran
So I broke bread
With my true family and friends.
The academy--I did graduate!
An officer-I did make!
But little did I know was that--
When I married
Many dreams I would slowly bury:
Bearing the burden
Of bread winner and army leader
But while doing God's will
By fighting for that life inside
Evil spread through and wide
Through his drugs and his delinquency
So a single mother was I destined to be.
So I began to write
To not loose this fight
And a fight it was
Because self defense was probable cause
When men resort to breaking laws
By laying on me unloving hands
Along with their unlawful demands.
So that brings me back to why
In August 2005 what I lost was found
What I was, was no more!
My creator opened my eyes and heart
To find and to make a brand new start.
So I began to write
From morning to night
Bleeding my heart and soul
In order to become whole.
The ink was all the tears that would cry no more;
The paper was my memory of what would be no more;
The words were my weapon for fists that would defend no more!
I believe that my Creator has this plan
And 34 years ago it began
With that little lady from Japan.
So when my words seem soft
But the message so deep
Listen to my thoughts that I want heard!
Listen to the burdens of my soul!
But don't give me any sympathy
Because this story is my life!

Do You Know Her?

Do you know her?
She is your daughter, sister, mother
Or the woman you pass in the street
That you don't know or recognize.
Her story starts the same as all
But the ending comes in a twist.
At 6, she's a timid, innocent girl
Who looks at boys only as friends.
At 8, through other eyes, she discovers
That boys could be more than friends;
However shyness refrains her growing interest.
At 11, she's told she's budding into a woman
Yet she doesn't know what that means
Except that there are immature expectations
Of juvenile conversations
While the divided walls between girls and boys
Begin to crumble down.
As crushes are unharnessed and unleashed
Claims to true and eternal love begin.
At 14, the search starts for
Proclamations of love
or claims of her as someone's love.
She knows the rumored taboos
But no one ever divulged every misnomer.
At the time that her maturing womanhood climaxes,
She draws the interests of many
But there is one who decides to crack the code--
Strategic moves expose
And one false step changes
All her hopes and dreams.
She becomes the 1 out of 3
To have sex by 16;
She becomes one of the 8 out of 10
To have an unintended baby;
She becomes one of the 3 out of 4
To have sex because a boyfriend wants her to.
What was so precious and innocent was lost
Never to be recouped.
Shame and fear set in to be her constant shadow
As her dreams of love end
Since a boy can't be a man
in the matter of nine months.
She struggles to complete school
Education sporadic between
The learning of how to be a parent.
All the while her views are skewed
By society's resentment
And stigmatism of welfare.
At 18, she searches for a way out
Poverty leads to desperation
So she sought man
As an alternative and revelation.
However, after many failed liaisons
And revolving doors
She becomes the 1 out of 4
Active with an STD
But a cure kept her in the game
Presenting the only hope in her shame
Out of the hell that she found
In her young imprudent years.
Her only happiness is that
She has not become one of the
70% of all HIV cases identified as women
But that may not be for long.
Do you know her?
Will she be your daughter, your sister
Or was she your mother?
Or is she that woman you just passed in the street
That you don't know or recognize?
Her story doesn't have to end like this!